New white wine launched for men

A new white wine brand has been launched that is being specifically targeted at men.

The new wine, which is being sold under the name Beemer™, is meant to get away from what marketers say is the too “feminine” image of white wine, and widen the appeal of the drink so that men become white wine consumers too.

Finn Hogsdon, marketing manager for the company behind the new “masculine” white wine, told a press conference yesterday for the launch of Beemer™: “The problem with white wine is that its ‘girly’ image really puts men off drinking it. I mean, look at the name of the most popular white wine grape – Chardonnay. Sounds like a character out of some over-exaggerated soap opera.

“In addition, white wine is associated in men’s minds with girls’ nights out, or a group of women sitting around the kitchen table with a bottle of pinot grigio in front of them, slagging off their male partners and their inadequacies.

“Anyway, we believe wine makers are missing out on a massive potential market because, for too many reasons, men don’t drink white wine, and we are launching Beemer™ with a deliberately masculine spin, to bring in those missing male white wine drinkers and boost what is, currently, a declining category.

“All the grapes for Beemer™ are being sourced from Australia and Germany, which research shows are the two countries regarded as the most masculine in the world. For too long, white has been a ‘female’ colour – Snow White, brides’ dresses. The imagery in the Beemer™ advertising and marketing will therefore be used to associate white with masculinity: the England rugby squad in their all-white strip, John Travolta in that suit he wore in Saturday Night Fever. Gordon Ramsay in his chef’s kit. Don Revie-era Leeds United – we’ve got one ad where a character who looks just like Billy Bremner is seen breaking the centre-forward’s leg in a tackle, then the two of them meet up in the pub afterwards for a glass of Beemer™ and a laugh.

“We’re also hoping to strike a sponsorship deal so that the Australian cricket team swap their baggy green caps for baggy white ones. And we’ve signed up Al Murray, the Pub Landlord comedian, for a series of ads in which he stands at the bar in a white suit like the one John Travolta wore in Saturday Night Fever and a glass of Beemer™ in his hands and declares that white wine isn’t just for the ladies any more.

“Research shows that men don’t like drinking in pubs out of wine glasses, so we’ll be ensuring that Beemer™ is only served in pint pots. We’ve also discovered through focus groups that most men don’t like their drinks too sweet, so we’ve added something bitter to the grapes – hops, actually. And we found that Beemer™ in pints was a bit too much for a full evening out at normal wine strength, so we’ve lowered the alcohol level to four per cent, to increase its sessionability.

“We’ve also tweaked the colour to make it more of a golden yellow, and we’ve ensured the fermentation process puts plenty of carbon dioxide into the drink, which, with the hops, creates a nice head, as you can see from the glass here.

“What? Yes, I suppose it does look a bit like a pint of lager …”

0 thoughts on “New white wine launched for men

  1. The humour is very well done, it had me going for a while there too. But it’s actually a good idea, I’d just leave out the hops. There are plenty of good European naturally low alcohol wines that can stand as models for this. If you did something along the lines of vinho verde with lower alcohol, or one of those northern Italian sparklers that come around 6% ABV (I think there are German examples too), you could move a lot of the stuff I think. The predominance of Germanic grape types makes perfect sense for this type of drink. Really, I don’t plump for wine which I rarely drink, but it’s a good idea, an extension of the cider idea (and cider is something I do enjoy as an alternative to beer). Remember the craze for a wine spritzer in the 70’s and 80’s? It would be sort of like that. Our summers aren’t getting any cooler anywhere it seems, this could provide a good consulting job I think to a big company!

    Gary

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  4. Nothing new under the sun. A couple of decades ago saw me in a pub/restaurant in St. Aubin – the one John Nettles went drinking in when playing the “Jersey cop”. Awaiting dinner, as me, a couple were sitting at a table opposite me. And she (!) was supping from a Rochefort-type chalice glass, filled up to the brim with was, apparently, white wine. It looked absolute gluttony, refinement be damned. However, after a few turns, I remarked that the glass bore a logo. And finally I could make out that the logo said “Stella Artois”… She actually had a pint of lager fizz, but to give it a beef, they used the Rochefort-type – which was a bit too small. Then again, who cares about a head….
    Oh dear.

  5. “Animée” also means “animated” as in clockwork toy or, in “dessin animée”, a cartoon – not a bad name for a wind-up mickey mouse beer really. Shows the power of professional marketing yet again !

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